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Monday, February 20, 2006

Hate For Manladies

Ben M. from Arizona State Univeristy
I can’t stand these chicks that are trying to be dudes. I don’t want a girl who can drink as much as me, that is not sexy. I don’t want a girl who chain smokes parliament lights in one hand and has a red cup full of vodka in the other. That is not hot. These fucking girls yell and scream and get wasted and act the fool. That is the stuff guys do, and I don’t want to fuck a guy. Girls are suppose to be sweet and nice. I want her to smell good and be smart. So FUCK all these fucking sorority bitches who go out and suck one cock after another and get plowed by some fucker in a closet every weekend. Take the cock out of your ears and start acting like a woman. But the reason I really fucking hate these bitches is that they make the NICE girls think that they’re not hot or good enough or sexy enough because they don’t throw their asses around like saltwater taffy on Halloween. So FUCK YOU girls trying to act like dudes, you’re fucking it all up.
I'll tell you what's NOT sexy; a woman who closes the door while she poops.

Hate For The Immature

Trey S. from Wichita State University
You know what I hate? People that make a big fucking deal about the "shocker". I go to school at Wichita State and that is our mascot. So of course we have to take all this bullshit because the founders of the school lost a bet a hundred years ago and chose this quaint little name for our mascot..(well they kinda shortened it from Wheatshocker, if that somehow makes it any better). Every basketball game that I've attended has been that much more enjoyable because I can flash the "shocker" all the time and I don't get in trouble for doing it..fuck, I see 5 year olds flashing it and mommy and daddy think it's so cute and adorable. Now, because every fucking high school kid in America is putting it in their senior pictures, adults are finally starting to catch on. Giving someone the bird used to be an offense that was punishable with a nice "fuck you too buddy!", but now people are bitching about the shock mainly because they just found out what it meant 15 minutes ago, trust me it's kinda funny trying to explain to your parents what two in the boot, one in the coot means. I wish the people of America would stick to something worth bitching about. Like the fact that Duke will always be in the Top 10 in college basketball, or that McDonald's stops serving breakfast before 11..damn the arches!
But dude, it's so funny. I throw it up in every single picture taken of me. Even in my senior class portrait. That's how badass I am.

Hate For The Loud...Again

Liz T. from the University of Iowa
I hate people that feel the need to let everyone around them know what they did last night by talking on their cell phone at mach ten volume in a crowed space.. For example when you have to ride the bus to class and you have nine million fucking freshmen on their phones talking at high volume so everyone around them can hear how cool their new fucking shoes (that they bought with their parents money anyway) are or how "wasted" they got last night.. Guess what?!.. I DON'T FUCKING CARE WHAT YOU DID LAST NIGHT! I'm still trying to understand why I even got up to go to class since it is way to early to be up anyway, and I don't need to hear your nails on a chalk board babble about how hot the guy you met last night was.. Congratulations! you are the fucking coolest person I know because you don't have any real friends with which to discuss such things so you need to let everyone on the fucking campus know how cool you are and how everyone likes you, fanfuckingtastic next time get a ride to class with one of your minions and leave the rest of us in half asleep disoriented peace. If you fucking talk like that when you are not on your cell phone, then i am baffled how you have any friends with which to go out anyway, since they would all be deaf by now and not able to talk on a phone. In closing, here is a word of advice for you cell phone braggarts, just keep your fucking mouth shut and talk about it when you see your "friends" because if I'm not already talking to you and inquiring about your night then guess what, I really don't give a shit. So shut the fuck up and let me ponder how my professor is teaching at an American University when he can barely speak English himself.
That teacher is teaching there the same way you're living here; through equality, and the fact that back in the Slovakia his people are being slaughtered by the thousands.

Hate For The Loud

Steve From Philly
I hate people who stand idly bullshitting with their friends in the middle of a staircase. I'm no safety freak or anything, so this normally just bothers me as much as any other midday delay. But if there happens to be a fire in the
building and I have to get out post haste, I won't hesitate to trample all over you people standing and talking on the stairs. But when I'm not being chased by a massive wall of fire and would just like to get where I'm going before tomorrow, your dignity takes precedence. I'm just nice like that. I try to be courteous and wait for you to move voluntarily, but when you refuse to acknowledge the traffic jam of people that is building up behind you, my slight displeasure quickly escalates into furious hatred. Is this how my thoughtful courtesy is compensated for? Furthermore, I would just like to state for the record that I do not, in any way, consider myself a sexist, of any sort. But the fact remains that a good portion of the offenders in the case described above are female. I'd have to estimate that at least 75% of all these stair-standers are girls. I'm not making any sort of judgment here about the fairer sex in general, I'm just being respectfully observant of those guilty of such an offense. Likewise, I neither consider myself a racist any more than I consider myself a sexist. But, it's difficult not to notice the skin color of the people who are making my mornings, afternoons, and evenings miserably frustrating. What is it that has given you the idea that the middle of a narrow, high-traffic staircase in the busiest building on campus is the proper place to hold a conversation? Why, yap-yap-yappy sorority girls, do you have no manners at all? Why, unnecessarily loud and animated black girls, must you congregate in a busy public place? Please, take your business outside or just call your friends on the phone later in the day. Thank you.
Actually, I hate people who talk in the stairways as well. It's annoying and a fire hazard.

Hate For The Large

PJ of the United States Marine Corps
Fat bitch Fatima: These are the large ladies with egos the size of their gut. These bitches think they own the fucking world because they are approximately the size of it. Last night me and my friend were tasked to pick some bitch up because we were the only ones sober enough to drive and old enough to buy beer. We were promised it would be a short drive, but 45 minutes later we roll up on her doorstep and we see what looks like a beached whale laying on the drive way talking on a cell phone. She waddles down to the car and tells us that she changed her mind because she would rather hang out with her douchebag boyfriend. Ok so we don't need the fat bitch at the party anyway, we got plenty of blubber there already. But she doesn't think it's necessary to pay us for our gas and time because she's not going. She spends 15 minutes bitching and moaning with her chins wobbling the entire time and finally throws us 5 bucks and calls us assholes. Fat bitch, when I become dictator of America I will set up underground dungeons and imprison angsty emo kids, fat people, bums, teenagers and the spice girls. You will be the first in line because I fucking hate you!
This is the problem with men all across America: you hate the fat girls when you don;t need them to make you feel better about yourself.

Hate For Efficiency

Matt F. from Northeastern State University
I hate that rolly backpack person. Give me a fuckin break! A backpack with wheels, it takes more energy to pick the goddamn thing up and carry it up stairs than it would to just strap it on your back. Your always bumping the thing into walls, desks, chairs, and me! Quit being so FUCKING lazy! You can hear it coming from a mile away, Oh god forbid the teacher hears rolly backpack guy coming up the hall DON'T START CLASS UNTIL ROLLY BACKPACK GUY GETS HERE! Buy something with straps and carry it! ROLLY BACKPACK GUY...I HAATTEE YOU!!! GO TO HELL!
But how will Asain nerds transport their books without them?

Hate For Cool Profs

Mike H. from MN
I hate teachers that cancel an 8 AM class on days that a big paper is due, and do not send out an e-mail prior. I mean what kind of teacher, excuse me, human being doesn't think of the harm this could cause. We are all between the ages of 19 to 22 in the class, college students. Many of whom were most likely up all night finishing this damn paper, then when we drag ourselves out of bed and go to the room there is a note on the door that reads "Comp is cancelled today, please turn in your proposals to my office between 10 AM and noon." Now not only is this wrong because class is we were up at the ungodly hour of 7, but he wants us to come back at 10 to turn it in? This kind of thing must be stopped
There you go again, bitching when you should be dancing.

Hate For Naturalism

Patrick C. at UCSC
I Hate that old man in the locker room at my school that feels the need to walk around naked. First off, what the hell are you doing here. You aren't a professor, and you definitely aren't a student. You may have been at one point, when you got back from the Korean war. Why the hell are you here, and why the hell are you naked. But one old guy is never enough, there is always at least one or more, as if suddenly the school had opened up a shuffleboard court. And you two sit there, and shoot the shit, about this and that, without a care in the world, while your graying pubic hairs and shriveled up trouser snake are in plain view of the world Ok, so you come from a generation where men were not uncomfortable to be naked around each other, because there was no modesty, and it was not some bizarre homosexual thing to want to be naked in front of another man, but times have changed. I am comfortable changing in front of guys so long as I have a towel around my waist. I know that not a single person in the locker room cares to gaze upon my hairy ass, so I don't show it. And of course, as I wrap up my brief time in the locker room, you assholes are joined by a third, and you block my way to the exit, so that i have to close my eyes, and try and squeeze past you so that i am not forced to brush up against an flabby octogenarian ass. You guys are gross, your skin is sagging, you dick is shriveled, and you have excessive amounts of hair coming out your ears. Because of you assholes, I am ashamed to admit that i have seen more dicks than tits since I came to college. I didn't come here so see geriatric dicks. I fucking hate you!
Listen dude, if I can;t be myself in the locker room, then where can I be, huh?