Hate For The Fairer Sex
Jay C. from University of Illinois at Chicago
Why even complain about it? You're never going to find a sane one.
I fucking hate college girls. Yeah that’s right. I often hear college girls complain that their male colleagues are afraid to commit to a relationship. Believe me, it’s not because we don’t want a constant source of sex. It’s more due to the options presented to us within these years. Most girls tend to fit the following schematics:
1. Ms. Too Comfortable With Men
These are usually the females that large groups of guys choose to befriend. They are generally good people. In fact, they are downright kick-ass. She may even be cute. However, they are not the girls to date. She enjoys raunchy talks about sex. After you’re done talking about that one time you fucked that fat girl in your Anthro class just to see if the cushin’ was worth pushin’, she might talk about her sex life. Do I care if you fucked some dude in Stake n’ Shake? This obviously is something that no strait man cares or wants to know. I’m more entertained by the thought that idle married life is spent with receiving non-stop oral sex. Not dick and fart jokes.
2. Ms. I’m Fucking Insane
Oh dear, we all know a few of these. Chances are she is convinced she lives on the set of a romantic comedy, and doesn’t understand why her Richard Gears keeps running away every time she reveals she was at one time a prostitute. She is not fazed by chasing after him. In fact, some professionals argue that they survive solely on the fear of their prey. Their presence on this planet might have actually slowed down the population rate. Why is this, you may ask? Simply put, they are fucking insane, and they show it. Nobody should to reproduce with them. There is always the chance that Lucifer might emerge from her vagina nine months after you got drunk and decided that the thirtieth time she called you wasn’t nearly as creepy as the twenty-ninth. They should all be sent into orbit with a dildo and a month’s supply of Ben and Jerry’s. Sorry. I get a little emotional about these girls. Is it not sad when you cannot sleep comfortably without a wooden stake and necklace of garlic? Welcome to my first semester of sophomore year.