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Sunday, January 08, 2006

Hate For The Comfortable

Jamie B. from the University of Redlands

I hate the fucking assholes who recline all throughout an 8 hour flight. As soon as the plane is going down the runway you shove your seat as far back as it can go and sit there with your headrest shoved into my face. Then you proceed to sit there reading your shitty book or listening to shitty music turned up so loud that I can hear it. You never actually sleep, but make lots of groaning noises and yawn a lot. How do I know this? Because I am actually sitting halfway upright and your stupid ass is lying on your seat like it's a bed. If you really need to recline this much buy a seat in first class you stupid fuck. Oh how I wish I could make your seat snap back to its upright position and catapult your douchebag head into the seat in front of you. You don't even put your seat upright during meals you fucking cunt rag, when the flight attendant asks you to you groan and slowly put your seat halfway up, once she leaves you put it back down, at least not all the way so you can still reach your food, but your headrest is fucking smashed into my food you asshat. Then when the meal is gone I jam my knees into your seat so you cant fucking recline into my lap again and you fucking bang the seat backwards to try and get it to recline. Fuck you stupid fucking douche nozzle you fucking piece of shit, next time I have to sit behind one of you fuckers I'm going to switch seats with a little baby who will cry and kick the back of your seat the whole time. How about that, asshole? Think about that as you lie back in your seat, making the person behind you consider the best way to stab you in the head with the flimsy plastic knife on the meal tray. I really fucking hate you!!!

Whatever, that food sucks anyway. I basically did you a favor.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

well spoken, i hate these assholes. esp. on long-ass international flights, which don't even serve free booze anymore. If they did, maybe i could drink up enough courage to tell these guys what obnoxious pricks they are. they see how tall I am, and they know how cramped the damn seat rows are. I hope you choke on your small ass piece of microwaved chicken. I HATE YOU

12:26 AM  
Blogger Street said...

Hey Streeter

I red the latest edition of People you hate and felt obligated to
write this e-mail after reading Jamie. B's painful flight experience.
This is, from what i understand, i common issue among travellers

However, there is one way to threat this situation that simply never fails;

Above you in most airplanes there is a small "fan" wich tends to be
quite powerful, and also offers the neat function to precisly direct
it's airflow to wherever you might desire.

In the situation described by James B, directing it at the guy in
front will insure a very painful flight experience for him. At first,
the cooling air will have a nice "soothing" effect, however, soon the
sniffeling kicks in and it will cause severe "brain freeze" (You know,
just like when you down a slushie real fast).

Forcing him to either ask you to shut off the fan (In this case a
response in the likes of "Fuck you, sir." would be appropriate) or,
pull his chair up. Either way, you win.

Med Vänlig Hälsning

1:47 PM  

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