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Monday, December 19, 2005

Hate For "Douches"

Michael M. of ABAC

I HATE Duche Bags!! Now let me break down what a duche bag is. A duche bag is a guy who wears flip flops with jeans, not only during the summer, but in the winter, when it is fucking freezing cold. Oh yes Mr. Cool, I'll bet you'll look real slick walking around in flip flops with three toes. And why in the hell do you have to pretend to smoke. I always know when I am getting close to a douche when i come across a half, no, 1/4 smoked marlboro because they only light them up when they see a girl coming and then put them out imedeatley after they pass. Man up fellas, if your going to spend the fucking money for them, at least smoke half the damn thing. And why the hell do you have to wear trucker hats everywhere? If I ever see Ashton Kutcher in person I will hit that mother fucker in the face for starting that fad, and then I will help him up and congratulate him for doing Demi. Trucker hats are for truckers and rednecks, not every duche who thinks that they are the fucking shit for wearing the exact same thing everyone else is wearing. The greatest thing about duchebags is that they are absolutely oblivious to the fact that they are gigantic duches. So to all you duches, FUCK YOU IN THE FACE!!!

I believe the word you're looking for is "Douche:" from the French "Douche" meaning "to shower."

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Hate For Intelligence

Andy A. From Penn State
I, personally hate the fag-ass bastards that actually know what the fuck's going on in class, and act like their better than everyone else becase they do. They're the ones who call people "Zipperface" and "Sillyhead" and go whining to the RA when some bastard tells them to shutup or burn in hell. They hang out in clumps, blocking my way to either the bar, or the bathroom (But only at times I really need 'em) so they can find out how to memorize the first 18 million numbers of pi the fastest. You'll see them in groups at the bar, taking shots. But the only reason they're doing it is to see if they can still remember the first fucking 18 million numbers of pi! WHO GIVES A DAMN ABOUT PI?!?! GET ME SOME MOTHER-FUCKING PIE OR BURN IN HELL, U FAGGOT-ASS BASTARDS! I HATE YOu!!!!

Yeah, being smart is for losers.

Hate For The Right

John F. from CUNY Queens

People who hate gay marriage. I'm not even gay, but I wish I was just so I could kick your homo-hating ass and then say, "you just got the crap slapped out of you by a fag, you fucking pussy! What's wrong with you?!" I wouldn't even hate them if they had a logical reason to simply disagree with it. Let's take a look at their current reasons: "It makes a mockery of marriage!!" Yeah, you're totally right dude! Those two guys or girls who love one another and want to share their lives and legal rights with one another are totally ridiculing marriage EVERYWHERE. We need more straight marriages based on gold digging, lying, cheating, appearances, and abuse. You know...good, old fashioned American marriages! Get over it, douchebag, the only thing that can make a mockery of your marriage is how your own marriage is--which is obviously frigid as all hell! "It goes against nature! Woman was not made for woman! Penis was not made for butt!!!!" Yeah, and mouth was not made for kissing....SINNER! Nor was your wife's mouth made for your birthday hummer, so I guess you'll see your neighbors Mister and Mister Lance in that section of hell you think belongs to people who put penises in things that aren't vaginas. "You're changing the definition of marriage!" I had no idea every word we're speaking today is the exactly the same form and definition as it was 5,000 years ago! Oh wait, language is an ever evolving process--and don't worry Billy-Bob, this is the type of evolution that even creationists are allowed to believe in (which if you are one, all credibility in all departments should be fed your mom/sister as a sidedish to your opossums!) "Marriage was not intended for this!" Evolution jokes aside, maybe I do agree with you here. I mean, I certainly don't have too many qualms about getting myself a hottie-for-life by paying the the future missus' father and getting her as one of my many wife-slaves! Earliest forms of marriage RULE! You fucking nutsack! "It's gross!" The most logical argument EVER! No offense to all our man-loving-brothers out there, but I want to see you nailing your husband as much as I want to see my fat neighbor nailing his fat wife. But that doesn't mean they can't do it and that they can't hold hands and tongue each other on the line to the movies. Just because it's not your personal bag of chips, doesn't mean you can ban fat old people marriage. All you woman-loving-sisters out there are quite welcome to start up some sort of public orgy day as far as I'm concerned.

Do yourself a favor and read the next post. Somehow I don't think these two would get along very well.

Hate From The Right

!!!HOT READ!!!


My dear god. If I hear one more Goddamned Liberal complain about the ass we're kicking in Iraq, I'm going to club a baby seal on the steps of the Sierra Club headquarters. 2,100 lost? It's substantially lower than the cost of WW2, and thus far I don't see much difference between those brown, bearded assholes and the Nazi's. Why don't we support a Presidential candidate who threw someone else's medals onto the White House lawn, got shot in the ass while trolling a canal in an armored boat, and compared our great nation to some of the worst dictatorships the world has ever known? Or better yet, we can send the worst President in history, Jimmy "The Pussy" Carter, to Cuba to make nice with a group of suger cane farmers who threatened to destroy us with nuclear weapons in the 1960s? I have a better idea, maybe even a solution: let's kick the Christ out of the sodomites who are trying to eliminate our way of life? Sounds great to me, even something our friend and mentor, Jesus, would do. We'll start by ignoring the sissy Congressman who won't stop complaining about the bad intelligece provided them by a scheming administration that was only out to avenge the attempt on the former Commander in Chief's life and strip an impoverished (and religiouly ridiculous) people of their precious oil reserves. Next, we should paint over the arrows pointing East on the floors of the cells of the jagoffs we've captured to face the nearest toilet, so that they know where to look when we shit on their sacred texts, letters from Sheik Abdulla or whatever else we deem inappropriate reading material. And finally, no more damn immigrants. This last initiative is a bit out of context, I know, but for the love of God can we build a wall or something? Tell Jose and his buddies that we can pick our own goddamned watermelons! And if we can't do it, our African population will just have to import them.

If anyone is looking for the reason Mr. Bush was re-elected, go no further than this post.
Justin from University of North Dakota

Excuse me Weedy McStonerson? Yes you, I fuckin hate you man. I understand that "The Family Guy" is an ever increasingly entertaining show, but good lord how many episodes can you possibly watch in a day. Seriously man, have you ever been to class? Stayed out later than 12? Read anything other "High Times"? There is so much more to the world that you are depriving youself of, and all it takes is a trip outside of your residence hall, and I dont mean to go get a pizza from the convienence store. Seriously man you spend all day in your room and all you ever talk about is marijuana, and to tell you the truth, its fucking driving me crazy. Don't get me wrong, I like to smoke weed just as much as the next guy, but I promise you I will never go on 20 minute lectures about Maui Wowie, String Cheese Incident, or X-Box 360. Your the lamest kid I have ever met and I would like to rip your pony tail out of your skull. Good luck with your next fooseball match.

But dude, have you ever like wathed it? I mean, like really watched it?

Hate for Many Preppy Things

Jacob L. from East Carolina

I hate the bitches who walk around with "sperrys" and not "topsiders". You know the type, usually big jugs with a cardboard ass wears Abercrombie shit all the time except for that occasionally popped collar polo. Popped collars piss me off, especially when our soccer team does it during a game in which their ass is being kicked. oh, I hate frat boys too. Nothing says douchebag like a pink polo and some chinos with some clogs, that really says faggoty ass frat boy. I also would approve of a mass genocide of all the fuckers who sit around playing johnny cash on their crappy-ass guitars just because his fucking movie came out, play some jimi hendrix or something, christ. mix it up a little, play a god-damned mandolin or something. I also hate the motherfuckers who use a guitar at parties as a prop to get bitches, what a cockblock. finalmente, I hate cockblocks. God has a special place in hell for these people. The guitar cockblock, the wheelchair I'm crippeled cockblock, and the ever so famous guy-friend cockblock, I hate him the most, guy-friend cockblock I loathe you!

It sounds to me like you hate everyone from my home state of Connecticut.