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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Hateback: Belgians

Theo M.

I hate people who hate Belgians. Honestly, what have you got against us? We're one of the smallest nations in Europe and we haven't done *anything* to *anyone* *ever*. You're simply angry because our waffles make you look like a tiny dick-sucking ordinary college student and you can't handle it. At worst, we've made designs that have become the origin for the lace that graces the lingere your girlfriend wears on occasion - by the way, good choice, she's amazing in bed. Glad she's so "faithful." And to set the record straight, the greek community is nothing to make fun of. Just because y'all couldn't get accepted to the brotherhood that is the quintessential fraternity doesn't mean y'all should make fun of it. It's simply another social organization that's fighting against a stigma that you are shamelessly promoting. Congratu-fuckin'-lations, you discriminating sons of bitches. I hope you feel good about yourself and all your 'egalitarian, equality-loving ideals' because you obviously don't subscribe to anything close to that. You are members of the club I like to casually call, "I'm dumb, ignorant and angry, take pity on me." You have no sympathy for anyone who isn't equal to you. You don't even have sympathy for people who are equal to you. You are simple apathetic, arrogent bitter bastards.

I spent a few memorable nights in Brussels and I can say this: you're waffles are fine, your chocolate is delicious, your beer is unbeatable but, man, you guys could use some work on accents. Could I learn to speak your language? Maybe. But that would take all the fun out of being an American.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

may i remind you of the congo/rest of central africa that your country absolutely decimated? plus you offer nothing

1:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

best beer in the world, best fries in the world, best chocolate in the world, club music that doesnt SUCK (ie no rap), clubs that dont close at 2 am like the pansy ones in the states, McDonalds cashiers who speak 5 languages, headquarters of NATO and the EU. Yeah, obviously theres nothing good about Belgium...

11:52 PM  

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